Failed Cycle 

March 14

Today was a checkup to monitor my follicles when suddenly Dra. Ong Jao called me in and said my progesterone level was high –meaning my egg retrieval was to be done NOW.  I was so shocked because just the other day she told me she’s targeting my OPU to be on the 16th. Everything was going so fast. Before I knew it Andrew was signing waiver forms and I was getting dressed to go to the operating theater. I’ve never even been near an operating room so you can imagine my anxiety. Things got pretty real when I saw the operating table, stirrups, bright ass lights, and monitors. Dra. Perillo was in scrubs so I couldn’t see her usual smiling face. Terrified as I was, I couldn’t help but feel excited because it’s one step closer to getting pregnant! 

The whole procedure took around 20 minutes. It’s basically a more invasive trans v procedure. A needle is passed through the top of the vagina to get to the ovary and follicles. The fluid in the follicles is aspirated through the needle and the eggs detach from the follicle wall and are sucked out of the ovary.  

I had 3 follicles that were the right size so I was poked three times which HURT like a motherfucker. But just for a second. The first one hurt the most because it was so unexpected. The second and third were more tolerable. My nurse Joanne was AMAZING. She helped calmed my nerves, gave me a stress ball and even held my hand. I would never forget the motherly care I got from her. I’m eternally grateful. 

After the procedure I was led to the recovery room to rest for 20 minutes. I didn’t feel too bad considering I just  had my ovaries poked by a needle three times! Just a little sore. I was back at the waiting room in Kato in a few minutes. 

Andrew and I had lunch and when we came back the embryologist ( forgot his name) called us in. He was straight to the point which to be honest hurt me a bit but that’s my issue and another post completely. He told us that 2 of my follicles were empty and the LONE egg they retrieved from me was immature. However, sometimes it is possible to have eggs mature in the lab (in vitro maturation) and then fertilize them. When I asked what are the chances of my egg maturing – he bluntly told me ” slim” 

Immediately my heart sank and I was angry at myself for being so naive and overly confident. I actually thought I was going to waltz out of there with perfect eggs. *sigh* 

Dra. Perillo talked to us next. She explained that since my progesterone hormone was high they had to trigger and retrieve my egg(s) but unfortunately these test can be inconsistent and advised me to take a 2 month break before coming back for cycle 2. I’m sure she explained everything more thoroughly but my mind at that moment was foggy and was not absorbing any information. My heart was breaking 😦 

March 15

After tossing and turning all night, I woke up at 5:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep. My stomach is now bloated and I’m veryyyyyyyy gassy 😦 

I got the dreaded call from Kato at around 2:30pm. My little lone egg didn’t survive 😦 It degenerated. My potential child not even given a chance to live. 

I held back tears the whole day. 

March 16 

After talking to Andrew, my sisters, friends and mom I decided to take this 2 months to heal my body. I decided to get a laparoscopy on my blocked tubes. I didn’t want anything to interfere with my next cycle.

 I decided to be positve and not dwell on this failed cycle. I read somewhere that most IVF don’t work on the first try. 

I made a quick research to doctors whocan  perform my laparoscopy. And Dra Chaoling Sua Lao popped up. I went to see her the next day. 

This post is getting too long..will continue .. 

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